MAKEUP MAKEUP MAKEUP! I (HEART) MAKEUP!
I love makeup. What more can I say. The fact that I wear makeup has been under scrutiny from my mother. Everyone else in my life simply doesn't care about my cosmetic regime but my mother has a different opinion. And she makes a clear and precise expression. She doesn't think men should wear makeup and she goes into some stupid rage whenever I decide to wear it. I personally think it's stupid to get so upset over something that I decide to put on my face and wash off at night. However, she disagrees.
To start off, I don't wear makeup to turn into something that I'm not. Or to look totally different. Or for someone else. I wear it simply to enhance my beauty. I look totally fine without it. I have some acne and hyperpigmentation, but nothing I can't bear to be seen without. Many people even ask the question, you don't need it, so why do you wear it? Well, the answer is simple. It's my freedom of expression. I especially love to enhance my eyes. Eyeliner is my drug of choice. I love to wear guyliner in a variety of colors.
I've only been wearing makeup for the last couple of years. And there are no signs of me stopping my routine. Yet, while I'm living in my mother's house, I can no longer wear it. She claims she doesn't want it in her house, even though I sneak and wear it anyhow. She barely notices. And when she does, let's just say I'm outside, locked out of the house.
My mother recently told me that having a gay son is like every parents worst nightmare. And wearing makeup only makes that nightmare worse. She's also told me that she's embarrassed to be seen with me. More so, she's embarrassed by me in general. She's also expressed that she doesn't care for me. She would rather that I am out of sight, out of mind, as she says. And you know what I say. Fuck you.
Having a gay son is a nightmare. Are you kidding me?. How about having a retarded son might be a nightmare. As long as I'm still here, able to breathe, think, talk,
speak without any help, she should be thankful no matter how I decide to express myself. There are many parents out there that have lost their children or their child is basically a vegetable. Many parents have it worse and their not looking at the situation like it's a nightmare. But according to my mom, I'm a nightmare. Again, fuck you bitch.
As a side note, my mother is really one of the worst people that I know. On the surface, she seems like a nice person, but the people close to her know the real deal. She is a crazy, conniving, selfish, insecure, lonely bitch. She doesn't have many friends. She's a loner, like me. I'm not holding that against her, but the reason she doesn't have any friends is because of her attitude. She fights with everyone close to her except for her mother. And that's because her mother is a people-pleaser. She'll sidenote with whatever my mom tells her. It's almost as if she condones her attitude.
My mother is not much to look at. She has saggy, facial skin. Large pores. Droopy eyes. Extremely bad acne, even for her age. And she has the audacity to always comment on my skin or what I have on my face. She also obsesses over my weight because she's a fat ass like her mom. She claims she's only trying to give advice. But I will never accept advice from her on the topic of skin, makeup, or relationships. Her skin has always looked like utter shit. Her makeup has always been cakey and a clusterfuck mess. And she has never had a healthy relationship. In fact, she's been in two abusive relationships and to add insult, none of her relationships ended on a high note.
Shit. If anyone should be embarrassed, it damn sure should be myself. And everyday that I stay here I'm living in my worst nightmare. She lives by herself for a reason, not by choice.
Maybe I'm born with it, Maybe it's Maybelline!
To start off, I don't wear makeup to turn into something that I'm not. Or to look totally different. Or for someone else. I wear it simply to enhance my beauty. I look totally fine without it. I have some acne and hyperpigmentation, but nothing I can't bear to be seen without. Many people even ask the question, you don't need it, so why do you wear it? Well, the answer is simple. It's my freedom of expression. I especially love to enhance my eyes. Eyeliner is my drug of choice. I love to wear guyliner in a variety of colors.
I've only been wearing makeup for the last couple of years. And there are no signs of me stopping my routine. Yet, while I'm living in my mother's house, I can no longer wear it. She claims she doesn't want it in her house, even though I sneak and wear it anyhow. She barely notices. And when she does, let's just say I'm outside, locked out of the house.
My mother recently told me that having a gay son is like every parents worst nightmare. And wearing makeup only makes that nightmare worse. She's also told me that she's embarrassed to be seen with me. More so, she's embarrassed by me in general. She's also expressed that she doesn't care for me. She would rather that I am out of sight, out of mind, as she says. And you know what I say. Fuck you.
Having a gay son is a nightmare. Are you kidding me?. How about having a retarded son might be a nightmare. As long as I'm still here, able to breathe, think, talk,
speak without any help, she should be thankful no matter how I decide to express myself. There are many parents out there that have lost their children or their child is basically a vegetable. Many parents have it worse and their not looking at the situation like it's a nightmare. But according to my mom, I'm a nightmare. Again, fuck you bitch.
As a side note, my mother is really one of the worst people that I know. On the surface, she seems like a nice person, but the people close to her know the real deal. She is a crazy, conniving, selfish, insecure, lonely bitch. She doesn't have many friends. She's a loner, like me. I'm not holding that against her, but the reason she doesn't have any friends is because of her attitude. She fights with everyone close to her except for her mother. And that's because her mother is a people-pleaser. She'll sidenote with whatever my mom tells her. It's almost as if she condones her attitude.
My mother is not much to look at. She has saggy, facial skin. Large pores. Droopy eyes. Extremely bad acne, even for her age. And she has the audacity to always comment on my skin or what I have on my face. She also obsesses over my weight because she's a fat ass like her mom. She claims she's only trying to give advice. But I will never accept advice from her on the topic of skin, makeup, or relationships. Her skin has always looked like utter shit. Her makeup has always been cakey and a clusterfuck mess. And she has never had a healthy relationship. In fact, she's been in two abusive relationships and to add insult, none of her relationships ended on a high note.
Shit. If anyone should be embarrassed, it damn sure should be myself. And everyday that I stay here I'm living in my worst nightmare. She lives by herself for a reason, not by choice.
Maybe I'm born with it, Maybe it's Maybelline!
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