what's keith LISTENING TO IN 2010?

The year is pretty much over.  What a year?  I'm looking forward to the many opportunities of 2011.  Anyway, you know I'm a music addict, so I have to post

The Top 25 Most Played Songs of 2010.

(According to my iTunes Top 25 Most Played playlist)

I.  Tynisha Keli - "The Right Way"
II.  Kylie Minogue - "Get Outta My Way"
III.  K. Michelle - "Can't Do This"
IV.  Willow - "Whip My Hair"
V.  Keri Hilson - "Fearless"
VI.  Angel Taylor - "Not Even Human"
VII.  Keri Hilson - "So Good"
VIII.  Tiffany Evans - "I'll Be There"
IX.  Rihanna - "What's My Name"
X.  Katy Perry - "Last Friday Night (TGIF)"
XI.  Tiffany Evans - "Uplifting"
XII.  Jewel - "What You Are"
XIII.  Katy Perry - "Teenage Dream"
XIV.  T.I. featuring Christina Aguilara - "Castle Walls"
XV.  Ciara - "Shut Em Up"
XVI.  Mario - "Cheat Sheets"
XVII.  Taylor Swift - "Innocent"
XVIII.  Fefe Dobson featuring Orianthi - "Can't Breathe"
XIX.  Rick Ross featuring Chrisette Michelle & Drake - "Aston Martin Music"
XX.  Kelly Rowland - "Rose Colored Glasses"
XXI.  Nicki Minaj featuring Kanye West - "Blazin'"
XXII.  The Black Eyed Peas - "The Best One Yet (The Boy)"
XXIII.  Katy Perry - "Hummingbird Heartbeat"
XXIV.  Rihanna - "S&M"
XXV.  Chris Brown featuring Kevin McCall - "Between the Lines"

why is keith SHAKING HIS DAMN HEAD?

In the words of Neffeteria, are you serious?  I have never heard a song so ratchet.  But to be honest, I think Ray Jr. might have a hit record on his hands.  It's very catchy and I hate to say it, but I'm actually impressed.  Maybe I should have been playing this song while Kenny was fucking me. 

Don't cum in me, Don't cum in me.

what's keith READING?

Today, much like everyday, I was taking a look at MEDIATAKEOUT and came across a post that really touched my heart.  So, I thought I would share it with you.

As you all know, I've been down this road before. My scenario didn't play out much like this young lady's, however I was lied to and deceived more than once.  While I haven't officially tested positive for the virus, I feel like I've experienced all of the symptoms.  In closing, I just want to say that no one cares for you more than you.  So remember that and take care of yourself.  Don't become a statistic.



how was keith's CHRISTMAS?

Honestly, this has got to be hands down the worst Christmas of my entire life.  Where do I begin?  My brother is headed back to Atlanta as we speak.  It was good to see him again, although I'm so happy his dirty-ass is gone.  He was really working my nerves. 

This holiday weekend has been nothing but drama.  The whole family got into a heated argument on Christmas Day of all days.  I'll spare you all the details only because I really don't feel like going there right now.  Just know that in the heat of the argument, my mother called me a faggot and a bitch.  Yeah, nothing new.  Also, the Christmas gift I received from my family was whack.  I'm truly grateful, however I wouldn't be keeping it real if I didn't clock the tea.  I received two pair of Ralph Lauren socks and twenty-five dollars in cash.   Now granted, I'm broke and unemployed so I wasn't really able to get my family a Christmas gift, however both my mother and brother have full-time jobs.  They could have gotten me a better gift than that.  And the sad part of it is that it looks like they gave me whatever change they had left in their pocket.  Almost like my gift was a last-minute idea.  Sometimes I really don't feel loved.  In addition,  I called Kenny on Christmas morning.  We spoke for a full five minutes and you all know it's been some time since I've spoken more than a few words to Kenny over the phone.  The thing is that he neglected to thank me for the gift I got him.  Now, I'm sure the reason he didn't mention the gift card was because he hasn't checked his post office box in a while.  I'm still a little pissed off, nonetheless. 

I am so tired of Twenty-Ten.  This year has been a major disappointment. Sometimes I don't know whether to scream or to cry.  I'm praying that this new year is much better.  I'm beginning to give up all hope.  It's been raining cats and dogs for over a year now and I don't see any sunshine in the forecast, if you know what I mean. 

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"I wish we never did it.  And I wish we never loved it. 

And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it aint no way we can be friends." 

Can't Be Friends by Trey Songz

what's keith LISTENING TO?

Was I really BRAINWASHED by Kenny?  He told me he was ride or die, but I guess he really isn't as gangsta as I thought he was.  I thought loyalty was the code of the streets?

what's keith GIVING FOR CHRISTMAS?

Words of Wisdom

"We already are what we are and what we are is Beautiful.....

Strong Enough, Good Enough, Bright Enough."

What You Are by Jewel

what's keith WATCHING?

Question.  Who the fuck is K. Michelle's stylist?  Let me back up a minute.  I do love the song.  I've literally listened to it over a hundred times.  However, I'm disappointed at the fact that she looks a hot mess in this wack-ass music video.  In the studio scene, her outfit has no idea what it wants to do.  Now, I will say that the individual pieces she's wearing from the high heels to the jeweled vest are on point, but altogether it looks a clusterfuck mess.  And girl, I won't even get on her hair in that scene.  Her hair stylist needs to be put on blast for that two-toned fuckery.  Now, if she would have taken off those busy leggings, put on some dark rinsed jeans to camouflage her wide hips, taken out those hoop earrings, instead replaced them with some studs, and did something half-decent with her hair, then she would have tens all across the board.  Instead, she gets straight nickels.  And another question.  Is she seriously wearing a body suit in the Cadillac scene?  Um, didn't we trash that trend three years ago?  She looks just as busted as Keyshia Cole and Alicia Keyes did when they made their debut.  Come on now, I could have done a better job with the styling as well as directing that cheap-ass video. Can we say EPIC FAIL? Girl, Boom Bye.

what's keith DRIVING?

YAY!  I can officially drive a stick-shift.  I'm so excited even though I don't know why.  It's really not that big of a deal.  It just means that I can drive my mother's hooptie.  She won't let me anywhere near the steering wheal of her Benz.  On to other news, my brother is home for the holidays.  He'll be here until Monday.  It's really good to see him.  I haven't seen him in about a year.  I just learned today that he was arrested for drug possession.   I really didn't drill him on the situation so I really don't know when all of this happened or any of the major details, but it had to have happened earlier this year.  It was less than an ounce, so it's apparently no big deal, but I'm very shocked and appalled.  I can't believe my brother spent a week in jail.   I'm still proud of him though.  He works and goes to school full-time and I can't wait to do the same.   

what's keith WEARING?

My skin is drier than it has ever been.  I think its partly due to the acne medication that I've been using.  My acne seems to be subsiding, however I'm left with dry, flaky skin.  So, I've been on the hunt for a new moisturizing foundation and I think I've found it.  I introduce you to the new Maybelline Dream Smooth Mousse Foundation. 

(Well, it's not that new.  It's been out for a few months now.  I'm just catching on.)

This foundation claims that it is ultra hydrating while offering 100% baby smooth perfection.  So what do I think?  I think it's pretty good.  I have no complaints.  Now, I don't think the foundation is ultra hydrating however it's not mattifying.  What I mean is that you still have to apply your daily moisturizer especially if you have dry skin much like yours truly.  I will agree that it gives a baby smooth perfection.  It leaves a dewy finish and offers medium to full coverage.  It's so light that you don't even feel it on your face.   I also have to say there's no need for a concealer with the use of this product.  I like to layer this foundation over my troubled spots to double as my concealer.   I use the darkest color this foundation offers which is 350 Caramel.  I must say that I love the packaging.  It comes with a sponge, however I prefer to use a foundation brush.  Once applied, I don't set it with powder, however, I do use a primer for lasting coverage.  Would I purchase this product again?  I have to say I would without hesitation.  It's my new favorite.  I also love the Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse, but we'll talk about that another time. 

what's keith RANTING ABOUT?

Today, I took a trip to Target primarily to get Kenny a Christmas gift.  Wayne didn't leave his truck here this week so I put on a cute outfit and caught the bus.  I decided to give Kenny a $25 Target gift card.  How creative and how cheap?  I know but it's the thought that counts, right?  I'm sure Kenny isn't thinking much of me this christmas anyway so hopefully this will put a smile on his face.  Once I got back home I checked the mailbox and I had received the January 2011 issues of Elle and Allure magazine.  Okay, the rant starts here.  Why the fuck is Sarah Jessica Parker on the cover of Elle Magazine when she was just on the cover for Elle in December of 2009.  Don't get me wrong, I love Sarah Jessica Parker and I am in no way going in on her.  However, I am throwing shade at Miss Elle magazine.  First, let me start off by saying that I am a loyal subscriber to Elle, Allure, and Seventeen.  The only problem is that they keep recycling the same faces for their covers.  And to be honest there is no excuse for an any magazine to cover the same actress in less than two years time when there are dozens of other actresses worth featuring.  Am I the only one who is tired of seeing the same faces on the magazine stands?  Miss Elle needs to get it together quick, fast, and in a hurry because I almost cancelled my subscription.  Well, not really but you get my point.

does keith HAVE DSL's?

Take a good look at this picture.

Would you classify my lips as DICK SUCKING LIPS?  I honestly don't think so.  I think my lips are nicely proportioned to my face.  I only ask this question because Kenny used to say that I had DSL's?  He was the first person to ever say that to me.  I found it funny and interesting so I thought I should mention it.  Do you think I have DSL's?  While I'm on the topic, I'll admit that I'm not that great at sucking dick, but I'm a pro at taking dick.  Yeah, as if you really needed to know that.



what's keith WATCHING?

Just the message I needed to hear.  Am I too young for love?  I don't think so, but I do think that I'm not ready for love at the present moment.  I need to focus on myself and get myself back on my feet before I even consider a relationship.  For the past two years love has done nothing but distract me.  I tend to get so caught up in my relationships.  As a result, I tend to fall of track from my future goals. 

And as a side note, I don't know why I stress over the possibility of never getting back with Kenny.  I love him and want to be with him yet I know there's much better out there.  Plus, I know he would take me back once I got myself together.  I'm not trying to sound conceited but look at him and look at me.  He knows I'm very much a catch or else he wouldn't have invested his time on me.  Kenny is also a very complicated and fragile person and there's only a handful of guys in the world that would put up with him.  So, why am I worried?  I guess I just don't want to go through the whole ordeal of opening myself up to someone new.  Kenny knows all my innermost thoughts and secrets.  I've never been so open in any of my relationships.  I don't know if I could be so honest and open with anyone else.  It took a lot to do so for Kenny.

Anyways, I need to focus on me right now.  As Nicki Minaj says go to school and don't depend on anybody.  And that's just what I'm working on.  There might be room for love in the near future, but not now.  Love is too big of a distraction and it seems to always let me down. 

Benjamin Franklin, call me!  LOL.

what's keith LISTENING TO?

"Inside of You" by Karmina

Pink sunsets and purple haze
I know those magic days
When you go up and down with
The one you love you can’t resist
The perfect touch, the perfect kiss
It sends you around, round, round
You’re his majesty, you’re his ecstasy
You’re the spark that shines his light
He’s your somebody that should make you feel like
A thousand lives are happening tonight

You can feel what he can do
When your lips are locked, it’s true
He’s got inside of you
He’s got inside of you

You’re short of breath, you cannot speak
When you find out he’s getting weak
And you’re getting stronger and stronger
You find out what he’s all about
And now you start to really doubt
That he’ll be there longer and longer
You’re the energy, you’re the beauty
That should make him come through
But if he refuses he’s the one that loses
Too bad for him, and only good for you

You can feel what he can do
When your lips are locked, it’s true
He’s got inside of you
He’s got inside of you

Are the sunsets enough to set you off
Is the magic still strong or do you feel like you could turn it off
After all the I do’s and I love you’s
You, you have to think it through
Is this based on my first kiss (your first kiss)
You should probably make a list
Is he a pro, or is he a con-artist?

You can feel what he can do
When your lips are locked, it’s true
He’s got inside of you
He’s got inside of you

I can feel what he could be
But my heart can’t set him free
He’s got inside of me
He’s got inside of me

what's keith EATING?

Let me start by saying that I am a junk food whore.  Yeah, I know it's bad for me, but I just can't help it.  Cookies, cakes, chips, candy, I can't get enough.  And my favorite candy would have to be Reese's Peanut Butter Trees.  I can eat a whole 6-pack in one sitting.  Chocolate and peanut butter were meant to be together.  Now I know you guys feel me on that.  I'm probably going to have diabetes before the age of 30, but I don't care.  I'm young and this is my time to enjoy my junk food habit.  Is there such a thing as Junk-Food Anonymous?  If so, I need to attend a meeting.

what's keith MASTURBATING TO?

It doesn't get any better than THIS!

what's keith WATCHING?

So, today is Tuesday and we all know what that means.  So, I'll spare you all the boring details and show you all what I have discovered.

Yes, a new music video from Paramore.  Apparently it was released two weeks ago, but I first discovered the music video on iTunes today.  "Playing God" would have to be my favorite song on their latest album, Brand New Eyes, and I just new Paramore would release the song as one of their singles.  I'm such a huge fan of Paramore that I'm not going to criticize the music video.  All I will say is that it looks like it was filmed with a Flip video camera.  And if you've seen some of Paramore's prior music videos, I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised.  However, their music videos always seem to impress me.  Now, to be honest, what didn't seem to impress me was the album which features this song.  The album was released about year and a half ago.  Don't get me wrong, there are a couple good songs on the album but Brand New Eyes is nowhere as good as their second record, Riot!.  Now, to their defense, I can tell that Paramore is trying to steer towards a new direction with their music.  They have matured and from what I can tell, so has their music.  But all I'm saying is can we get a little more of Riot! in your future recordings?  Just a little, is all I'm asking for.

what's keith NOT COMPROMISING?

Every relationship requires compromise.  But I ask, is it worth it if you know that you'll regret your compromises in the long run.  When I committed to a relationship with Kenny, I felt like I compromised my space, my money, and my health.  Now, I'm out on all three.  If I could go back, I would have taken things slowly.  I mean, I sort of got caught up in it all and it's true when they say that love is blind. 

In the beginning Kenny came over my place pretty often and I allowed him to.  Because we spent so much time together and since I didn't want Kenny to know about my side job as a prostitute, I couldn't build my clientele.  So, my bank account suffered.  I sort of didn't have the guts to tell him that he was smothering me.  He then shortly moved himself and his dogs in my space without really discussing it with me first.  In fact, during the months of August and September of 2009, Kenny practically lived with me for free.  He didn't start helping with the rent until October.  And his dogs are another story and were a huge compromise on my part. 

My health was another huge compromise.  He deceived me.  We discussed sexually transmitted diseases on several occasions and he failed to mention his HIV status.  Early in our relationship, he even suggested that we should get tested for HIV, as if he were negative.  It wasn't until several months later that I found out about his HIV status.  And you already know how I found out.

Now I'm not saying that Kenny didn't have to compromise on his part but ultimately he chose to move in with me.  Not the other way around.  To be blunt, I regret letting Kenny move in with me.  You see, Kenny is always at either two places on his time off.  That is either his mother, Gloria's apartment or over his jumpoff's boyfriend's place.  He has an apartment with his sister and he doesn't like spending time over there.  If you saw that dump you call an apartment, I wouldn't blame him.  I honestly have never seen a place so dirty and smelly.  His apartment always reeked of cat urine.  And to be nice, I'll put it this way.  I couldn't identify half of the dirt and filth that was on floors.  (And don't get me started on their dirty ass bathroom.  When I spent time there, I didn't know whether to urinate in the toilet or the sink.  So y'all know I pee'd in the tub.  LOL.  I'm just kidding, but you catch my drift.) On several occassions I thought about calling Child Protective Services for his sister's three children. 

I say all of this to ultimately conclude that there are certain things that I will no longer compromise in a relationship.  Living and being with Kenny was a learning experience.   I will no longer compromise my space, money, or health for anyone.  In fact, I realize that I prefer and need to have my own space.  I don't know how I got suckered into allowing Kenny to stay with me.  I blame it on love.  I truly loved Kenny.  Look, I said loved.  I think I'm falling out of love for him.  I'm sure some of you guys are wondering why I even fell in love with him in the first place.  Anyway, time by yourself really gives you a chance to sort out your true feelings.  So, in my next relationship, I'll be sure to take it slow and not do so much compromising.  If he doesn't fit, he doesn't fit.  And there's no hope in tailoring the relationship.  Leave it on the rack and keep it moving.   

what's keith LISTENING TO?

This would have to be my all time favorite song.  I first saw this music video while watching MTVU in my college dorm room back in 2005.  Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" will forever remain a classic.  Too bad she's not as famous as some of these washed-up entertainers.  Her creativity is off the meter and she writes and produces her own songs.  On a side note, does anyone really know what the hell she's talking about in the song?  I didn't think so but it's a great song nevertheless.

what's keith LOVING FOREVER?

Are you a person of color and are you looking for a TRUE bronzer?  Well, look no further.  Covergirl's Queen Collection Natural Hue Bronzer is perfect.  It has a mineral-enriched formula that pampers skin and controls oil, for a sun-kissed glow without the shine.  It's a staple in my makeup collection.  I remember when I first purchased this item almost two years ago.  At first, I hated it.  I thought it came across very muddy, almost as if I were applying dirt to my face.  However, that is because I was applying too much at a time.  A little goes a long way and you have to slowly build the bronzer for the desired flush of color you are seeking.  I use the shade in Ebony Bronze which is the shade at the top of the picture.  I apply it using ELF's Studio complexion brush. 

What else can I say about this must-have?  I know for my skin of color that it is hard finding a bronzer that truly emulates the tan and glow of my chocolate skin.  Most bronzers for my skin tone simply highlight rather than showcasing a flush of tan on my skin.  This bronzer offers that flush of tan that I long for.  Miss Latifah gets not one, but two cookies from me for this product. 

Now, the only negative about this product would be the packaging.  I think the packaging looks cheap.   It's just your standard run of the mill plastic compact.  Can we get a case that's somewhat modern and half decent to look at?  A mirror would help as well.  Covergirl needs to complete an overhaul and produce a compact that looks half as good as the quality of the product.  In fact, I'm not a huge fan of the Queen Collection packaging in general.

What else do I own from the Queen Collection?

I also own the Natural Hue Minerals pressed powder in Light Bronze 2.  Again, the packaging sucks.  Although, the product is pretty decent.  And let's not even get on the sponge that is included in the compact.  It is a hot mess and nonfunctional. 

Anyways, let's move on.  The powder does a great job at controlling shine and evening out my skin tone.  Using a big fluffy brush, I apply it either alone or as a setting powder for my liquid and cream foundations.  And the golden undertone of this powder perfectly matches my skin tone.  The only negative about this product, besides the packaging, would be that it easily transfers.  It comes off on my clothes.  So, I would say a great makeup setting or fixing spray would be useful in conjunction with this product.  I would definitely repurchase this item. 

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Coverboy!

what's keith REVIEWING?

I really only review products that I either really love or really hate.  This time I'm coming to you with a product that I adore.  It is EyesLipsFace's Studio blush in Gotta Glow.  I own two of this product as if I'm going to run out anytime soon.  I know, I know.  Enough of ELF already, but I can't help it.  I'm in love with the brand.  I use this blush as a highlight to bring out my cheeks.  I apply it using ELF's Studio Fan brush and I place it just along the top of my cheek bones. I know that the product appears white in color, but when applied it gives a sheer, golden sheen.  This blush is highly compared to the popular NARS Highlighting Blush Powder in  Albatross.  Many beauty gurus claim that it is an exact duplicate.  For only $3, you should definitely give it a try.  I will definitely be repurchasing this item.  I give this blush ten stars in my book.

Another blusher I own in the ELF Studio Blush line is called Berry Merry.  It provides a nice natural pink flush to my face.  I apply it using the Studio Complexion brush.  I don't really have any complaints about this product.  Yet, I probably wouldn't repurchase this item.  If you ask me, it just gets the job done.  It's nothing special in my book, but definitely worth a try. 

what's keith THINKING ABOUT?

It's almost 3am, and I can't sleep.  So, I thought I would write a little something in my diary.  Lying in bed, I got to thinking.  And I came up with the conclusion that it is not my duty to punish Kenny for the wrong that he has done to me.  Karma knows every one's address and it is the job of the almighty greater power to punish those that wrong me, just as much as I am punished for the wrong that I do to other people.  Sometimes, when I think about Kenny, I get so upset.  However, tonight I realized that I came out of this relationship on top.  I mean I probably have HIV and I don't have a penny to my name, but I'm still young, handsome, intelligent, sexy and an overall great person to be around.  Too bad I can't say the same for Kenny.  He's highly unintelligent, old, ugly, overweight, washed-up, used and abused.  He's damaged goods.  Come on.  More than half of the gays in the DMV area can say that they have had him.  I'm sure he's a growing infestation of STD's.  I check his email accounts periodically, and trust me the guys he's talking to have nothing on me.  Plus, to add the cherry on top, he's 33 still in community college working a minimum wage job.  It doesn't get any worse than that.

I tend to forget how quickly Kenny latched on to me.  He knew he had something special, so he came on pretty strong.  He quickly introduced me to his family and we even had talks of marriage.  I was the best looking guy he has ever had or should I say ever will have.  His ex-boyfriend and his best friend, Mathew, is just as ugly as he is.  And on a side note, I have a strong feeling that Kenny and Mathew were having sexual encounters while Kenny and I were in a relationship.  It's okay though.  I'm pretty sure the sex wasn't that good.  Anyhow, I'm the true winner.

Now, I don't want to come off unappreciative for the things Kenny has done for me.  He has done a lot for me and I still think he is a remarkable guy, otherwise I wouldn't have wasted my time with him.  But, I can't waist anymore time trying to seek revenge on the fallen.  He'll have to pay his dues if he's not already paying for them as we speak.  One day, he'll have to look god in the face and explain his evil doings just as I will.  And trust me, my rap sheet is nowhere as long or as tragic as Kenny's.  Let's just say, he'll be lucky if he gets to see those pearly gates before he plunges into the pits of hell. 

He'll pay for what he has done, much like I'll pay for what I have done.  So, Keith, stop worrying your precious head on his mistakes.  It's just hard because I don't think there is anything worse than knowingly infecting persons with HIV.  But, I have to get over it.  I can't play the victim and let him win.  I have to take my power back.  And you've seen the pictures.  Kenny is definitely not the person I should even waist time thinking about.  Forgiveness will come someday, but like Mary J. Blige says, not today. 

what's keith LISTENING TO?

A little word of advice.  If he doesn't fit anymore, take him off of your hanger and donate him.  Redo your wardrobe and fill it with brand new love.  There's no excuse. 

what's keith WATCHING?

I hate to admit it, but I sometimes watch the Home Shopping Network just for the thrill.  It's almost like window shopping, just in the convenience of your own home.  And I never order anything because my funds are on empty.  (I know, it sucks being broke especially during the holiday season.)  I really enjoy watching the beauty segments featuring MAKEUPFOREVER or Lancome and a new favorite of mine would be the Serena Williams Signature Collection.  I find myself glued to the TV whenever Serena is featured.  In fact, I'm watching her sell her new Simply Charming Sleek & Chic Couture Blazer as I type.  It's apparently Today's Special.  Am I the only one who regularly watches HSN?  Am I normal or just gay?  Well I know its not normal for guys to watch HSN, but are my fags with me on this?  Of course you are. 

what's keith WATCHING?

I just finished watching the new episode of 90210 (my favorite show) and I got so worked up that I have to share it with someone.  And you're always here and you have no other choice but to listen.  So here goes...

First, let me start off by saying that I am so over the whole friends hooking up with friends ordeal on the show.  Can the writers come up with some other story line?  We've seen this play out on Season 1 and Season 2.  Must we see it again on Season 3?  I mean Silver and Navid now have feelings for each other and they made out.  I am so mad at Silver right now.  She knows better than that.  She's the last person I would ever think would stab her friend, Adrianna, in the back.  Speaking of Adrianna, it's about time that bitch is going to get put on blast.  That crackwhore was getting a little to uppity and now she is gagging.  We already know how this story is going play out.  She's going to lose her man, her dream and her dream home.  I just hope she doesn't relapse and turn back to drugs.  (By the way, I've had enough of that story plot as well.)

On to other drama...  Aren't we glad that there is a gay main character.  I mean Adrianna had her fun licking pussy in the second season, but that didn't do it for me.  Finally, we see a gay male, Teddy, struggling with his sexuality.  I give kudos to the 90210 writers for that story line.  I love watching how it will all play out, especially since Dixon caught Teddy kissing Ian. 

And OMG, Mr Cannon makes his reappearance.  I hope he doesn't do anything to hurt my girl, Naomi, again.  If he tries anything, I'll reach through my TV screen and cut-a-bitch.  Forreals.  And Annie, why the fuck are you getting back with Liam.  Charlie is a really nice guy.  To be honest, I'm so in lust with Charlie that I would date him in a heartbeat.  But, only in my wildest dreams, right? Right.

New episodes start airing again on January 24, 2011.  I don't think I can wait that long, but I have no other choice.  Until next time...

what's keith WEARING?

This would have to be my all time favorite fragrance.  Acqua di Gio Pour Homme by Giorgio Armani isn't the men's bestseller for no reason.  It's truly a resolutely masculine fragrance born from the sea, the sun, the earth, and the breeze of a Mediterranean island. It contains an aura of marine notes, fruits, herbs, and woods.  With a personal fragrance collection of about 16 fragrances, I would have to say that no men's fragrance collection is complete without it.

A couple of new fragrances I would like to purchase would be Acqua di Gioia, SJP NYC, and Viva la Juicy.  Maybe, I'll see all three under the christmas tree.  Yeah right.  Who am I kidding?



what's keith READING?

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war , and a time of peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

what's keith DISCUSSING?

So, let’s discuss gay marriage.  Until I met Kenny, I never gave it much thought.  However, shortly after Kenny and I started dating we discussed marriage and almost went through with it.  So, what happened?  Well, Kenny and I got into an argument or should I say physical altercation, and he said he would never marry me.  He actually still says to this day that he is never getting married, in general. 

Someday, I still plan on getting married.  I’m still waiting for Mr. Right to sweep me off my feet.  I’m still waiting for that one true love that is willing to take my hand in holy matrimony.  I’ve done a lot of growing when it comes to relationships.  I will no longer accept a relationship from someone who is closeted, secretive, or guarded.  When I’m in love, I fall hard and I want someone who is willing to fall with me with no hesitation.  Is that too much to ask?  Honestly, it really is.  But, I’ll keep waiting.  Loneliness is nothing new for me. 

what's keith SHOPLIFTING?

Where do I start?  So much has gone on today.  Well, not really.  It just feels like it.  My day started at around 10:00 AM.  My mother, grandmother, and I worked on one of my mother's new homes.  We're basically flipping the house.  She purchased the home at a great deal and is currently renovating it with plans to sell the home and make profit.  We finished our work for today at around 03:30 PM.  At about 05:30 PM, my mother and grandmother went off to an evening church service and I was instructed to drive a couple of the carpenters working on the house back to their home.  Since, I had the truck, I decided to do a little shopping.  I went to the dollar store and Target.  And I've been a bad, bad boy.

I shoplifted a couple items from Target.  I know, I know, it's wrong.  I feel bad but I really wanted these products.  I took the Olay Definity Eye Illuminator and  the Loreal True Match concealer.  Hopefully, this doesn't become a habit. 

When I got home I checked my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls.  (Not that anyone is calling me, but hopefully some store managers to set up a job interview.)  Apparently Kenny called at 05:27 PM.  At 08:02 PM, I sent him a text.  Hey, how's it going?  He then texted back with Well u just ran cross my mind, thought I wood say hi...  {Pause} Yeah, kind of pitiful.  So pitiful that I didn't even text back.  I can't believe he sent me a pity-text or better yet made a pity-call.  I wish he would just flat out say that he misses me.  Or does he really not miss me?  He only says that he loves or misses me when he wants some of my cookies.  And I try to keep them in the jar, but he always knows just what to do to open the lid.  Well, with his rap sheet, he's had enough practice. 

I've come to realize that Kenny has a problem with vulnerability.  He doesn't want to let his guard down and share his true feelings because he's afraid of getting hurt.  It's pretty obvious that Kenny is a hurt, lost soul and he's been hurt several times in his lifetime.  However, I wish he would tear down that wall of pain and communicate.  In order to figure out what's really on Kenny's mind, I have to read his actions.  So I have to look on the bright side.  At least he tried to call and at least he's thinking of me. 

I think the bigger problem is that Kenny doesn't attempt to make me feel special.  I mean, during our relationship, I would always do little things to make him feel special and wanted.  I would tell him that he looked good, even though most of the time I was lying.  I would ignore his smelly body odor and oral hygeine as to not hurt his feelings.  I would even always shower him with hugs and kisses to let him know that I cared for him.  Now, I'm not doubting Kenny's love for me, but he really didn't do a good job at making me feel wanted.  He's too proud to even stroke my ego just a little bit.  I mean, that's all I wanted.  He rarely gave me any compliments.  And the compliments he did give me were drowned by the things he would say to make fun of me.  He would say I love you but with great hesitation as if I had to drill the words out of him.  He wouldn't even make me feel special during sex.  I mean, he would like to quickly bend me over the bed and fuck me with my face down and ass up and that would be all.  He rarely made an attempt to please me without me having to ask him. 

Now, I'm making no attempt to put Kenny down, however I'm just sharing my true feelings.  And I need to feel special.  Maybe Kenny made me feel special in his own way.  It's possible, but either way it's not enough if I have any doubts.  On the other hand he did wine and dine me, took me shopping, showed me new places.  Am I tripping? At the end of the day, I just hope I wasn't a moment in time for him.  He's had several boyfriends and I doubt that I'm any more special than any of them.  Well, that's enough sulking for today.  Until next time... 

what's keith CELEBRATING?

World Aids Day 2010

While I think this PSA sucks, I commend them on their efforts.  And I have to say that I can definitely identify with the message. It's true when they say that you never really know someone.  My last two boyfriends were the masters of deception and as the PSA states anyone can let you down.  It's so true.  Too bad I had to learn the hard way. 

Yet, I also ask, could I have been more honest in my relationships?  I mean, who knows, I could have exposed either one of them to HIV as well.  Although, I highly doubt it.  Their risk is extremely minuscule compared to mine.  Should I have snooped much earlier in my relationships?  Why didn't I ask more questions?  Well, I sort of did ask questions, but Kenny lied.  Am I to blame for my circumstances?  Maybe, but I didn't break the law.  They both knew they were diagnosed with Aids.  Am I playing the victim?

Every 4 hours a person in Baltimore is infected with the HIV virus.  It's sad that I'm now a walking statistic yet I digress.  I now realize that no one cares for me more than me.  My last two boyfriends claimed that they cared for me, but they ended up causing more damage than I had ever anticipated.  I can't tell anyone to get tested when I haven't even mustered up enough courage to go get tested myself.  And I can't tell anyone to use protection even when I continue to have unprotected sex with someone who is not only promiscuous but living with Aids.  However, I can support the cause and join the fight against HIV/Aids around the world.  

Today, I donated ten dollars to amfAR, The Foundation for Aids Research.  Five dollars in my name and five dollars in the name of Kenny.  Of course, I know it's not a lot but every little bit counts, right?  A cure for HIV/Aids is impossible without research and I celebrate in advance for the day that there is a cure.  Remember, everyone is not infected with HIV, however everyone is affected by HIV.