You would never guess who showed up at my front door. Kenny, of course. He came by to see me. He called earlier, however I neglected to answer the phone because nothing has changed on my part. He still thinks I'm not capable of change, yet for some reason he keeps showing up. I'm beginning to think that he won't give up on me. Maybe I do have his support after all.
Anyhow, I was extremely shocked to see him. I had no idea he was even coming over, yet alone even thinking about me. He claims that he only came by to figure out how I got his mother's address. I sent both Kenny and his mother holiday cards. I know more information about him and his family than he thinks I know. Anyways, that's besides the point. I know he really came by to see me or better yet fuck me. I hate to admit it but we had sex. And it felt so good. I resisted for a good twenty minutes while he kissed and groped me. Aah {deep breath}. His lips felt so good on mine. Better yet his dick felt so good in me. I was doing a good job at keeping the cookies in the jar until he gave me an ultimatum. He said I wouldn't see him again if I didn't give it up. I didn't believe him, but I gave it up anyway.
I can still tell he has feelings for me. He said that he loved and missed me so. I know he still finds me sexy which is why he couldn't keep his hands off me. I'm just so disappointed that I still don't have a job. I'm trying, while not very hard, and putting forth an effort to gain employment. Although with my credit, no one wants to hire me. At least, no company willing to offer a livable wage. I'm just sad because Kenny saw no progress. I was waiting to get myself together before I came back into his life. I want to show him that I can do for myself.
In our exchange of words during foreplay, Kenny called me his main ho. Either Kenny is still waiting for me or he's full of shit. I know he's spreading his lovejoys all over town. I couldn't help but get the feeling that he was just saying what I wanted to hear just to get into my pants. And I put up a fight. I really did, but there's no resisting the love of my life. I ultimately gave in. I don't know if I regret it. I'm typing this post with his nut still in my ass and I can still smell his scent on me. Damn, I love him. And all he asks is that I get a job. Why is that so hard to do? I don't know. I'm tired of letting him down or should I say letting myself down. When are things going to get better?
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